Glee Quotes .
Santana: Yeah, well, this is a club. This is not a family.
Brittany: Okay, well, family is a place where everyone loves you no matter what, and they accept you for who you are.
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Schue: I love my kids.
Goolsby: What? No you don't. They're hideous. My kids are at least attractive. Yours look like they haven't been baked properly.
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Dustin: It's all over the Broadway blogosphere. And by "Broadway blogosphere," I mean the one blog that cares about Broadway
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Mercedes: Did you know New York City was built on top of Old York City?
Tina: I'm pretty sure that's not sure.
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Kurt: Did you know I could get ahi tartare and a steak sandwich at 3 in the morning from their all-night dining menu? I feel like Eloise.
Brittany: I have pills for tha
• Rating: 3.0 / 5.0
Rachel: The guy did seem crazy. He charged my credit card by swiping it through his butt crack.
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Quinn: I just want somebody to love me.
• Rating: 4.1 / 5.0
Kurt: Whereas I'm spending my summer composing Pip Pip Hooray, the broadway musical about Pippa Middleton.
Sam: I have no idea who that is but it sounds totally awesome.
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Blaine: I love you.
Kurt: I love you too. You know when you stop to think about it, Kurt Hummel's had a pretty good year.
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Kurt: We just sat there with our faces buried in our complimentary issues of SkyMall.
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Santana: When did you get so smart?
• Rating: 4.4 / 5.0
Santana: Does this voodoo doll look enough like Rachel Berry to work?
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Santana: I'm from Lima Heights Adjacent and I'm proud. Do you know what goes down in Lima Heights Adjacent? Bad things!
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Will: I'm sorry you guys. We aren't in the top ten.
• Rating: 1.0 / 5.0
Jesse: That kiss was unprofessional. It was too personal and intense. The judges won't like it. They'll consider it common and vulgar and will cost you nationals. Hi Rachel, you sounded great you just shouldn't have kissed him.
• Rating: 3.9 / 5.0
Jesse: I couldn't stay away.
Will: From the show, or her?
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Dustin: You're tearing up. People are starting to stare. People probably think I just broke up with you.
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Dustin: It's all over the Broadway blogosphere and by Broadway blogosphere I mean the one blog that actually cares about Broadway.
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Quinn: Even Zises hooks up.
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Santana: I need to re-pencil my eyebrows on.
• Rating: 3.0 / 5.0
Blaine: May I have this dance?
• Rating: 4.2 / 5.0
Will: We're performing at prom.
Rachel: I'm doing Run, Joey, Run!
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Brittany to Lord Tubbington:You know, just because we're doing this interview doesn't mean i'm still not mad at you. 'Cause I know you started smoking again.
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Kurt: Eat your heart out Kate Middleton.
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Figgins: Ladies and gentlemen, your 2011 prom queen, Kurt Hummel.
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Kurt: They can't touch me. They can't touch us.
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Santana: As soon as we get to New York I'm bailing to live in a lesbian colony, or Tribeca.
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Santana: Just because I hate everyone doesn't mean they have to hate me too.
Brittany: It's just a stupid crown. You can buy it at the Party Store.
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Santana: You suck so bad Quinn Fabray I won!
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Sue: Now we can get all HMO up in your Glee hole or you can tell me who put you up to spiking the punch bowl.
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Puck: Torah Torah Torah! It's go time!
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Brittany: Best prom ever!
• Rating: 1.5 / 5.0
Jesse: They say that the best time to start any business is during a recession. I don't know why or even what a recession is, but it's my understanding that we're in one.
Rachel: He's so smart, I can't believe he flunked out of college.
• Rating: 4.4 / 5.0
Finn: Dude that rocks, it's like gay Braveheart!
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Burt: I looked liked Tony Orlando.
Blaine: Was that a designer?
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Brittany: I'm going to go to prom by myself and really work on me and dance with other people's dates.
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Kurt: I would like to graduate high school knowing how to make some sort of pate.
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Brittany: This is really confusing because this is a chicken's house.
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Rachel: All I ask is that whomever I choose, that you be as supportive of him as I've been of you and Quinn even though I'm dying everyday inside.
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Jesse: I traded love for a fourth consecutive national championship.
• Rating: 2.0 / 5.0
Puck: So are you in? My ass-istant bad ass?
• Rating: 2.0 / 5.0
Kurt: I have no criticisms, go with God Satan, Santana.
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Lauren: I look like a lemon meringue pie.
Brittany: I think you look delicious.
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Tina: Getting a thumbs up from him is like getting a thumbs up from Joan and Melissa Rivers.
• Rating: 4.0 / 5.0
Brittany: So, I don't have a date. I'm just going to dance. Then all your dates are going to ignore you and come dance with me. So your dates are really my dates.
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Santana: Prom is like our Oscars.
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Jacob: Where does Lauren keep your balls?
• Rating: Unrated
Brittany: Just because I'm giving you this interview doesn't mean I'm not still mad at you. I know you started smoking again.
Lord Tubbingtons: (Looks away)
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Rachel: We need you Sam and you need the music.
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
April: Thanks for the invite ladies. You know what I call an afternoon where I'm getting drunk? An afternoon.
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Sue: You know what they say? Those who can't, teach. Turns out, maybe you actually can. Think about that the next time you prop your butt chin up on one of those little toilets.
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Kurt: Oh how I've missed your insanity.
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Santana: My private feelings.
Brittany: What about him?
Santana: He's just furniture. Sorry, no offense.
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Artie: You're the hottest girl in school and I wear saddle shoes on legs that don't work.
• Rating: Unrated
April: Well Mama drinks her dinner these days.
• Rating: Unrated
April: My all white production of The Wiz was a disaster.
• Rating: Unrated
Sue: I'm pretty sure that barista is onto me. Now I'm Ann Coulter. As you may have noticed, I'm coming slightly unhinged.
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Sam: Santana told me never to speak alone with you because you would try to steal all of my gold.
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Brittany: Lord Tubbington is allowed to eat cheese because he's on Atkins.
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Kurt: Kurt Hummel's back at McKinley!
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Kurt: Kurt Hummel Is Back At McKinley!
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Brittany: I do love you. Clearly you don't love you, as much as I do, otherwise you'd put that shirt on and dance with me.
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Brittany: Because you're Lebanese and I'm bi-curious?
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Quinn: I respect you. I had to get a nose job and go on a crazy diet to walk around this school like I own it and you just do it.
Lauren: I have to admit. I have considered going blonde.
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Rachel: Is she here?
Kurt: This is a mall in Ohio!
• Rating: 4.6 / 5.0
Quinn: (Formerly known asLucy Caboosey) I was the only kid at school who dissected their own frog because no one would be my lab partner.
• Rating: 4.0 / 5.0
Puck: I just want to talk to you, one hot jew to another.
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Kurt: A Latina Eve Harrington. OK if you are going to be gay you simply must know who that is.
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Kurt: I don't believe in denying who you are, but I don't believe in outing either.
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Rachel: It's less Hebraic and more Fabray-ic.
• Rating: 4.3 / 5.0
Tina: Your self hatred Rachel has helped me see the light.
• Rating: Unrated
Santana: The only straight I am is straight up bitch.
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Santana: Look I'm not ready to start eating jicama or get a flat top either. Maybe in junior college.
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Santana: You really need to be more careful with your leering.
Karofsky: I was just checking out what kind of jeans he was wearing.
Santana: Like that's any less gay.
• Rating: 4.9 / 5.0
Quinn: Being a hot seventeen year old you can get away with or do pretty much anything you want so I kind of always assumed that people were nice and accommodating.
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Santana: I'm a closet lesbian and a judgmental bitch, which means one thing. I have awesome gaydar.
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Emma: I have so much more free time now that there are four hands polishing all of my fruit.
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Mercedes: At this school the thing that makes you different is the thing that people use to crush your spirit.
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Santana: I'm sure that Sam has been to the doctor's office and rifled through pamphlets on mouth reductions.
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Santana: Hold up, could we all just get real here for a second? I hear that Rachel has a bit of a schnoz. I mean I wouldn't know because like Medusa I try to avoid eye contact with her.
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Kurt: We have to go in. Strike that we have to break in.
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Finn: Wait, this is the moment in those romantic comedies where I kiss you.
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Puck: OK can we just talk about the Jewish elephant in the room?
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Bartender: Do you even know what's in a Manhattan?
Puck: Yeah me, for the first time. Which is why I want to celebrate with a cocktail.
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Jesse: I was writing notes about how you didn't have enough emotion in the song.
Santana: Oh I have some feed back. I'm about to go all Lincoln Heights on you.
• Rating: 4.5 / 5.0
Finn: Hey Jesse did you order scrambled eggs? Last time I checked you liked them served on people's heads
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Finn: “Hey Jesse! Whatcha order scrambled eggs? I mean I know you usually like them served on people’s heads!”
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Jesse: That's sweet, you remembered the masculine click of my designer boots.
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Sue: I'm gonna stop you right there Becky. Have you ever heard of menopause?
• Rating: Unrated
Brittany: Jesse maybe you can come on Fondue For Two and judge my cat?
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Kurt: She may be difficult, but boy can she sing. Bravo!
• Rating: 4.0 / 5.0
Kurt: I make my living singing girl songs.
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Jesse: Do you know what happens in Vocal Adrenaline if someone dies during a performance? They use them as a prop, like Weekend At Bernie's.
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Santana: I'd like to put the fun back in funeral as much as the next girl, but why would we help Coach Sylvester plan a service?
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Emma: Wow Will, that's a lot of vests.
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Rachel: So much has changed. I didn't have my bangs, I'd never had a boyfriend and I still had a tiny layer of baby fat.
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Becky: Can I please be in Glee Club Mr. Schue? I just want to belong.
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Sue: Your nickname is Panda Express.
Howard: But I'm not Chinese.
Sue: Neither is the food at Panda House.
• Rating: 4.3 / 5.0
Sue: Honey Badger I am lactating with rage!
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
Jesse: You kind of sing and dance like a zombie who has to poop.
• Rating: 5.0 / 5.0
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