Glee Quotes .

Santana: Yeah, well, this is a club. This is not a family.
Brittany: Okay, well, family is a place where everyone loves you no matter what, and they accept you for who you are.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Schue: I love my kids.
Goolsby: What? No you don't. They're hideous. My kids are at least attractive. Yours look like they haven't been baked properly.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Dustin: It's all over the Broadway blogosphere. And by "Broadway blogosphere," I mean the one blog that cares about Broadway
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Mercedes: Did you know New York City was built on top of Old York City?
Tina: I'm pretty sure that's not sure.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Kurt: Did you know I could get ahi tartare and a steak sandwich at 3 in the morning from their all-night dining menu? I feel like Eloise.
Brittany: I have pills for tha
 • Rating: 3.0 / 5.0

Rachel: The guy did seem crazy. He charged my credit card by swiping it through his butt crack.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Quinn: I just want somebody to love me.
 • Rating: 4.1 / 5.0

Kurt: Whereas I'm spending my summer composing Pip Pip Hooray, the broadway musical about Pippa Middleton.
Sam: I have no idea who that is but it sounds totally awesome.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Blaine: I love you.
Kurt: I love you too. You know when you stop to think about it, Kurt Hummel's had a pretty good year.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Kurt: We just sat there with our faces buried in our complimentary issues of SkyMall.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Santana: When did you get so smart?
 • Rating: 4.4 / 5.0

Santana: Does this voodoo doll look enough like Rachel Berry to work?
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Santana: I'm from Lima Heights Adjacent and I'm proud. Do you know what goes down in Lima Heights Adjacent? Bad things!
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Will: I'm sorry you guys. We aren't in the top ten.
 • Rating: 1.0 / 5.0

Jesse: That kiss was unprofessional. It was too personal and intense. The judges won't like it. They'll consider it common and vulgar and will cost you nationals. Hi Rachel, you sounded great you just shouldn't have kissed him.
 • Rating: 3.9 / 5.0

Jesse: I couldn't stay away.
Will: From the show, or her?
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Dustin: You're tearing up. People are starting to stare. People probably think I just broke up with you.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Dustin: It's all over the Broadway blogosphere and by Broadway blogosphere I mean the one blog that actually cares about Broadway.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Quinn: Even Zises hooks up.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Santana: I need to re-pencil my eyebrows on.
 • Rating: 3.0 / 5.0

Blaine: May I have this dance?
 • Rating: 4.2 / 5.0

Will: We're performing at prom.
Rachel: I'm doing Run, Joey, Run!
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Brittany to Lord Tubbington:You know, just because we're doing this interview doesn't mean i'm still not mad at you. 'Cause I know you started smoking again.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Kurt: Eat your heart out Kate Middleton.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Figgins: Ladies and gentlemen, your 2011 prom queen, Kurt Hummel.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Kurt: They can't touch me. They can't touch us.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Santana: As soon as we get to New York I'm bailing to live in a lesbian colony, or Tribeca.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Santana: Just because I hate everyone doesn't mean they have to hate me too.
Brittany: It's just a stupid crown. You can buy it at the Party Store.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Santana: You suck so bad Quinn Fabray I won!
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Sue: Now we can get all HMO up in your Glee hole or you can tell me who put you up to spiking the punch bowl.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Puck: Torah Torah Torah! It's go time!
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Brittany: Best prom ever!
 • Rating: 1.5 / 5.0

Jesse: They say that the best time to start any business is during a recession. I don't know why or even what a recession is, but it's my understanding that we're in one.
Rachel: He's so smart, I can't believe he flunked out of college.
 • Rating: 4.4 / 5.0

Finn: Dude that rocks, it's like gay Braveheart!
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Burt: I looked liked Tony Orlando.
Blaine: Was that a designer?
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Brittany: I'm going to go to prom by myself and really work on me and dance with other people's dates.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Kurt: I would like to graduate high school knowing how to make some sort of pate.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Brittany: This is really confusing because this is a chicken's house.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Rachel: All I ask is that whomever I choose, that you be as supportive of him as I've been of you and Quinn even though I'm dying everyday inside.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Jesse: I traded love for a fourth consecutive national championship.
 • Rating: 2.0 / 5.0

Puck: So are you in? My ass-istant bad ass?
 • Rating: 2.0 / 5.0

Kurt: I have no criticisms, go with God Satan, Santana.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Lauren: I look like a lemon meringue pie.
Brittany: I think you look delicious.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Tina: Getting a thumbs up from him is like getting a thumbs up from Joan and Melissa Rivers.
 • Rating: 4.0 / 5.0

Brittany: So, I don't have a date. I'm just going to dance. Then all your dates are going to ignore you and come dance with me. So your dates are really my dates.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Santana: Prom is like our Oscars.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Jacob: Where does Lauren keep your balls?
 • Rating: Unrated

Episode 19: "Rumours"

Brittany: Just because I'm giving you this interview doesn't mean I'm not still mad at you. I know you started smoking again.
Lord Tubbingtons: (Looks away)
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Rachel: We need you Sam and you need the music.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

April: Thanks for the invite ladies. You know what I call an afternoon where I'm getting drunk? An afternoon.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Sue: You know what they say? Those who can't, teach. Turns out, maybe you actually can. Think about that the next time you prop your butt chin up on one of those little toilets.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Kurt: Oh how I've missed your insanity.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Santana: My private feelings.
Brittany: What about him?
Santana: He's just furniture. Sorry, no offense.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Artie: You're the hottest girl in school and I wear saddle shoes on legs that don't work.
 • Rating: Unrated

April: Well Mama drinks her dinner these days.
 • Rating: Unrated

April: My all white production of The Wiz was a disaster.
 • Rating: Unrated

Sue: I'm pretty sure that barista is onto me. Now I'm Ann Coulter. As you may have noticed, I'm coming slightly unhinged.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Sam: Santana told me never to speak alone with you because you would try to steal all of my gold.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Brittany: Lord Tubbington is allowed to eat cheese because he's on Atkins.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Episode 18: "Born This Way"

Kurt: Kurt Hummel's back at McKinley!
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Kurt: Kurt Hummel Is Back At McKinley!
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Brittany: I do love you. Clearly you don't love you, as much as I do, otherwise you'd put that shirt on and dance with me.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Brittany: Because you're Lebanese and I'm bi-curious?
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Quinn: I respect you. I had to get a nose job and go on a crazy diet to walk around this school like I own it and you just do it.
Lauren: I have to admit. I have considered going blonde.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Rachel: Is she here?
Kurt: This is a mall in Ohio!
 • Rating: 4.6 / 5.0

Quinn: (Formerly known asLucy Caboosey) I was the only kid at school who dissected their own frog because no one would be my lab partner.
 • Rating: 4.0 / 5.0

Puck: I just want to talk to you, one hot jew to another.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Kurt: A Latina Eve Harrington. OK if you are going to be gay you simply must know who that is.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Kurt: I don't believe in denying who you are, but I don't believe in outing either.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Rachel: It's less Hebraic and more Fabray-ic.
 • Rating: 4.3 / 5.0

Tina: Your self hatred Rachel has helped me see the light.
 • Rating: Unrated

Santana: The only straight I am is straight up bitch.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Santana: Look I'm not ready to start eating jicama or get a flat top either. Maybe in junior college.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Santana: You really need to be more careful with your leering.
Karofsky: I was just checking out what kind of jeans he was wearing.
Santana: Like that's any less gay.
 • Rating: 4.9 / 5.0

Quinn: Being a hot seventeen year old you can get away with or do pretty much anything you want so I kind of always assumed that people were nice and accommodating.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Santana: I'm a closet lesbian and a judgmental bitch, which means one thing. I have awesome gaydar.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Emma: I have so much more free time now that there are four hands polishing all of my fruit.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Mercedes: At this school the thing that makes you different is the thing that people use to crush your spirit.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Santana: I'm sure that Sam has been to the doctor's office and rifled through pamphlets on mouth reductions.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Santana: Hold up, could we all just get real here for a second? I hear that Rachel has a bit of a schnoz. I mean I wouldn't know because like Medusa I try to avoid eye contact with her.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Kurt: We have to go in. Strike that we have to break in.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Finn: Wait, this is the moment in those romantic comedies where I kiss you.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Puck: OK can we just talk about the Jewish elephant in the room?
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Bartender: Do you even know what's in a Manhattan?
Puck: Yeah me, for the first time. Which is why I want to celebrate with a cocktail.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Episode 21: "Funeral"

Jesse: I was writing notes about how you didn't have enough emotion in the song.
Santana: Oh I have some feed back. I'm about to go all Lincoln Heights on you.
 • Rating: 4.5 / 5.0

Finn: Hey Jesse did you order scrambled eggs? Last time I checked you liked them served on people's heads
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Finn: “Hey Jesse! Whatcha order scrambled eggs? I mean I know you usually like them served on people’s heads!”
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Jesse: That's sweet, you remembered the masculine click of my designer boots.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Sue: I'm gonna stop you right there Becky. Have you ever heard of menopause?
 • Rating: Unrated

Brittany: Jesse maybe you can come on Fondue For Two and judge my cat?
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Kurt: She may be difficult, but boy can she sing. Bravo!
 • Rating: 4.0 / 5.0

Kurt: I make my living singing girl songs.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Jesse: Do you know what happens in Vocal Adrenaline if someone dies during a performance? They use them as a prop, like Weekend At Bernie's.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Santana: I'd like to put the fun back in funeral as much as the next girl, but why would we help Coach Sylvester plan a service?
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Emma: Wow Will, that's a lot of vests.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Rachel: So much has changed. I didn't have my bangs, I'd never had a boyfriend and I still had a tiny layer of baby fat.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Becky: Can I please be in Glee Club Mr. Schue? I just want to belong.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Sue: Your nickname is Panda Express.
Howard: But I'm not Chinese.
Sue: Neither is the food at Panda House.
 • Rating: 4.3 / 5.0

Sue: Honey Badger I am lactating with rage!
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Jesse: You kind of sing and dance like a zombie who has to poop.
 • Rating: 5.0 / 5.0

Pretty Little Liars Quotes.

A: Buckle up, Bitches. Nothing is as it seems.

Jenna: We've all made mistakes. Remember, I'm still paying for yours.
Hanna: Fool me once? Shame on you. Fool my best friend? You're dead meat.
Ezra: That was then. You are very much now.
Mona: I'm making sure you don't host a pity party for yourself and invite a cheese cake.
Toby: They're the police. They can make two plus two equal five.
Ian: The more you struggle, the faster you sink, and you're sinking pretty quickly.

Emily to Sean [on Paige]: We swim on the same team.
Emily's mother: I still don't understand, but I love you. You're my child and no one hurts my child.
Aria: Did you guys have practice or did you lose your balls.
Maya: A dress! Seriously. Is it some type of formal thingy or are you just worried that my jeans are too butch?
Noel [to Ezra]: I think I know enough to get a better grade on this.
Alison: You think the truth is this big shiny disco ball of purity then go ahead and try it. See what it gets you. Telling the truth to the wrong person at the wrong time is how I ended up where I did. Take it from me you're always better off with a really good lie.
Noel: This is insane.
Aria: You are right about that.

Mona: The past is forgotten. We are friends forever.
Ezra: It wasn't our age that ruined us, Ezra. You did.
Hanna: You're my best friend.
Mona: We were best friends. Now, you're just someone I used to hang out with.
Mona [to Hanna]: If you disappoint me, I'm going rogue.


Hanna: I need to ask you guys something, and be totally honest with me: Is one side of my face fatter than the other?


Aria [to Spencer]: You're a freak and I love you.


Mona: Whatever it is, I'm sure I'll love it. And if not, I'll return it.


Emily [on Alison]: I loved her as more than a friend.

Aria: Where are going?
Emily: To the restroom. But if you guys don't believe me, we can all try to squeeze into one stall
.

Mona [to Lucas]: You can go now. This beauty doesn't need a beast.

Hanna: Don't you want someone real? Someone you can scratch and sniff
?
Aria: I've not looking for anyone more than a friend.
Hanna: Don't you have enough on Facebook?

Byron: I don't wanna leave.
Ella: I don't want you to stay.
Lucas: I didn't mean to invade your personal... skin.
Hanna: It's okay. The Leprosy cleared up.
Spencer: The Devil has a name and it's Toby.

Spencer: You stole sunglasses? From who?
Hanna: Not from a person. From a store. God, I have some class.



Sean [to Hanna]: Go out, answer it. I'm sure it's someone who pulls rank over me.
Emily's mom: My daughter doesn't lie.
Police officer: Ma'am, everyone lies.
Spencer: Where's Alex?
Melissa: He left. Do you need me to Tweet it to you.
Mona: If we start slipping up, you and I will be right back at the bottom again.
Hanna: Yeah, well, I feel like I lost a few things on the way up.

Women Quotes .

- “Women cannot complain about men anymore until they start getting better taste in them.” – Bill Maher

- “A male gynecologist is like an auto mechanic who has never owned a car.” –Carrie Snow

- “You start out happy that you have no hips or boobs. All of a sudden you get them, and it feels sloppy. Then just when you start liking them, they start drooping.” – Cindy Crawford

- “Every girl should use what Mother Nature gave her before Father Time takes it away.” – Laurence J. Peter

- “The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.” – Unknown

- “A woman can say more in a sigh than a man can say in a sermon.” – Arnold Haultain

- “Whatever women do they must do twice as well as men to be thought half as good. Luckily, this is not difficult.” – Charlotte Whitton

- “Women are always beautiful.” – Ville Valo

- “The two women exchanged the kind of glance women use when no knife is handy.” – Ellery Queen

- “Curve: The loveliest distance between two points.” – Mae West

- “Can you imagine a world without men? No crime and lots of happy fat women.” –Nicole Hollander

- “Women get the last word in every argument. Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.” – Unknown

- “Next to the wound, what women make best is the bandage.” – Jules Barbey d’Aurevilly

- “A pessimist is a man who thinks all women are bad. An optimist is a man who hopes they are.” – Chauncey Mitchell Depew

- “The rarest thing in the world is a woman who is pleased with photographs of herself.” – Elizabeth Metcalf

- “There is a special place in hell for women who do not help other women.” –Madeleine K. Albright

- “A man’s face is his autobiography. A woman’s face is her work of fiction.” –Oscar Wilde

- “There’s something luxurious about having a girl light your cigarette. In fact, I got married once on account of that.” – Harold Robbins

- “When a man talks dirty to a woman, it’s sexual harassment. When a woman talks dirty to a man, it’s $3.95 a minute.” – Unknown

- “Men get laid, but women get screwed.” – Quentin Crisp

- “The most popular image of the female despite the exigencies of the clothing trade is all boobs and buttocks, a hallucinating sequence of parabolae and bulges.” –Germaine Greer

- “Whether they give or refuse, it delights women just the same to have been asked.” – Ovid

- “Howiver, I’m not denyin’ the women are foolish: God Almighty made ‘em to match the men.” – George Eliot, “The Harvest Supper”, Adam Bede

- “Women are like elephants to me. I like to look at them, but I wouldn’t want to own one.” – W.C. Fields

- “Women really do rule the world. They just haven’t figured it out yet. When they do, and they will, we’re all in big big trouble.” – Doctor Leon

Gossip Girl Quotes .

• "But alas, not effective. For all my efforts I'm heading back home with a Chuck-sized cloud over my head." -Blair.
• Belles De Jour.
• "So smoke up, and seal the deal with Blair because you're also entitled to tap that ass." -Chuck.
• "I'm not anyone, I'm me" -Blair Waldorf.
• "Usually I have a "never say never" policy, but for you I'll make an exception." -Blair Waldorf.
• Sometimes a b.f.f makes you go W.T.F but with out them we'd all be a little less richer in our lifes" Kristen Bell.
• "You don't know a good thing until it's gone.And found something else" -Kristen Bell.
• "The best way to get over someone, is to get under someone else." -Kristen Bell.
• "All guys are jerks. But they get hotter with age, and we learn to be more tolerant" -Kristen Bell.
• "Haven't you heard? I'm the crazy bitch around here." -Blair Waldorf.
• Blair: Do you like me? Chuck: Define like...
• "Whoever said that money doesn't buy happiness didn't know where to shop" -Blair Waldorf.
• "Well, here's my advice. Have a little faith, and if that doesn't work, a lot of mimosas" -Blair.
• "Life is tough, Serena. Just... Get a helmet." -Blair.
• "I thought college is different. But in fact it's just like highschool with more expensive books." -Serena.
• "Well if it's a war Chuck wants, it's a war he'll get" -Blair Waldorf.
• Dan: You really wanna go out with some guy you don't know? Serena: Well you can't be any worse than the guys I do know
• " I don't love you anymore. But it takes more than even you to destroy a Blair Waldorf" -Blair Waldorf.
• "If I were you, I'd accessorize with some gloves. Even a manicure can't mask those peasant hands." -Blair Waldorf.
• Serena: Wow. And I thought college was going to be different from high school. Blair: Who'd want that?
• Nate: [to Chuck] Philanthropy? It's nice to see you ... nice.
• "Not only am I manly and rugged, but I also have mad browsing skills" -Dan Humphrey.
• Eva: Old Chuck. Bad Chuck. New Chuck. Good Chuck. To me, it's one man, one journey.
• Serena: It’s like choosing between eclairs and napoleons, they’re both delicious. Blair: Except Humphrey’s a donut.
• "You saw me four months ago. If you thought I was pregnant, I’m offended." -Vanessa.
• Chuck: Your world would be easier if I didn’t come back. Blair: That’s true…but it wouldn’t be my world without you in it.
• "I could care less about his Bassets and probably he's filtering his assets through some foreign government so I won't know." -Blair Waldorf
• "I know you and you'll always regret it if you do nothing and just let him disappear." -Serena Woodsen.
• "I'd rather have nothing than be Chuck Bass." -Chuck Bass.
• "Trust me, the only thing wrong with Chuck is that I'm going to be happy without him." -Blair waldorf
• Serena: B, I went to the morgue today. Blair: What is that, a sex club?
• "This isn't a conspiracy, Serena. Face it. Hamilton House just didn't want you" -Blair Waldorf
• "Once men have tasted caviar, it baffles me how they settle for catfish." -Blair Waldorf.
• "If Georgina's flown the coop, who's cleaning up her baby's poop?" -Kristen Bell.
• Chuck: [to Eva] Don't leave. Everybody leaves.
• Serena:why did you do that to blair?! Chuck: cause I can't make her happy.
• Blair (to Serena): so what my text supposedly say? Serena: that you're sorry and you miss me. Blair: did you text me back?
• "Face it Blair. Once upon a time in a far off land, you were a queen. Here you're just a loser who will never fit in." -Georgina Sparks.
• Georgina (to Blair): "Unlike you, Vanessa's cool and people like her. More than the weird girl who threw the fish party."
• "No headbands in college" -Dan Humphrey.
• Chuck: (to Blair) "I'm not chuck without you"
• "Funny, Brown doesn't offer a degree in slut" -Blair Waldorf.
• "By the way, sandals are not shoes!" -Blair Waldorf.
• "While NYU is my garden I plan to rake, hoe and weed it until it looks exactly the way I want. But I can't do it alone. Now who's with me."
• Blair: (to Dan) "From Serena to Georgina? Quite a fall, even for you"
• "Dumbo could always fly, he just needed a magic feather" -Chuck Bass.
• Chuck: "You don't belong to Nate. Never have, never will." Blair: "You never belong to anyone."
• "Ah, the wedding march. Here comes ... the awkward pause!" -Kristen Bell
• "Put on those dancing shoes, kids. We're going to the chapel." -Kristen Bell.
• "For Georgina Sparks, love is always a battlefield." -Kristen Bell.
• "Look, I love you, but just because Nate liking Bree doesn't make her a piranha.&Serena liking Carter doesn't make him a prince."-Chuck Bass
• "if there's one thing i have learned about teenage girls is that sometimes they need someone outside of their family to talk to." -Lily
• "Looks like the wedding dress might have a runaway train" -Kristen Bell.
• "I have more in common with Marie Antoinette than with you." -Blair Waldorf.
• "Do you really love me or is this just a game?" -Blair Waldorf.
• "I was thinking '80s, but shoulder pads can be overwhelming on my delicate frame." -Blair Waldorf.
• "Let me guess, you want to go upstairs and see if two blondes make a right?" -Serena.
• "Blair's favorite part? Real-time surveillance playback. It's naughty." -Chuck Bass.
• "The polls are closed and Gossip Girl is calling this election ... dirty." -Kristen Bell.
• "Life isn't a fairy tale, and happy endings are few and far between" -Kristen Bell.
• "Never give up, never surrender. XOXO, Gossip Girl." -Kristen Bell.
• "Hello? I'm stuck in the elevator with someone who sucks all the air out of the room" -Blair Waldorf

"Well I'm sorry I'm not who you thought I was, but what's happened is in the past, and all I can do is try to change. If you can't accept that, then you're not who I thought you were" -Serena.